We can say just about anything we want to another person if we do it the right way. Choosing our words carefully is important because method trumps message 100% of the time. Our ability to say more, and convey deeper thoughts and feelings, is a function of our influence skills. Being vulnerable, having the right motives, and removing barrier-producing inhibitions create deeper, more transparent relationships. To the degree we are not able to say what we feel means we are limited in our ability to be intimate and to participate in discussion. Speaking the truth in love is evidence of true commitment. If we seek to be understood, others will need to know why we are saying what we are saying. When we convey sensitive information or difficult feedback, we need to be clear about our motives by declaring our intentions so that others are not left to guess. As the old saying goes, “In the absence of information, people make it up.” Leaving others to guess is a sure way to create misunderstandings. Coaching questions: Do you hold back from saying what you feel because you fear you’ll be misunderstood? What steps can you take to clarify your intentions?